i am from

fawning, from licking up

at the muzzle, at tucking

my tail. i’m from

performance. i am from 

feigning ignorance and 

why can’t you

be like your sister. from

jet black and

golden goats. 

i am from

fighting, from fuck yous

and i hope you do its. from

gripped pots and pans and

wasted cartons of milk.

from hitting and biting.

i'm from hospitals and screaming.

from hating raised voices, any 

type of fervor. from never spending

a day without it.

i am from

fleeing. from being

trapped.

i’m from dodging through

my dad’s legs 

during an argument

and running. from eloping for three

hours once, coming back, and

realizing that 

nobody had noticed.

i am from

floating. of living with it.

mice under my bed at night. 

jumping at me.

open containers. lice.

my mom driving her car into the garage wall.

roaches. staring at the wall. moving a poster.

waking up

with one

in my ear.